Happy Canada Day!
One thing that happens in all countries are families. I read something in the I Ching which I found particularly moving in this regard. The I Ching states (among other things),
“The family is society in embryo; it is the native soil on which performance of moral duty is made easy through natural affection; so that within a small circle a basis of moral practice is created, and this is later widened to include human relationships in general. The family must form a well-defined unit within which each member knows their place.”
This post is not about dysfunction that unfortunately occurs sometimes, nor about personal life choices such as whether or not a person decides to/not to have children; they are still someone’s child, possibly sister or brother, grandchild, niece/nephew, you get the idea.
Tony Robbins has said that people won’t remember everything in their lives, but they will remember moments in time of significance to them. And Maya Angelou has said that while we may not remember everything a person has said, we will remember how they made us feel.
In our family, I have to say that our children are very feeling people, who genuinely care and try to do the right thing as best they know at the time, and are very loving. And yet there are those crazy kid stories!
I remember years ago when our oldest was little, and her sister came upon her lying still, face up, on the floor on the landing at the top of the stairs, and asked her what she was doing; she was told to please leave her alone because she was trying to levitate. Or when she told her sister that she was intuitive, and the same sister immediately asked what time it was; when she was told, “I don’t know,” and as she watched her go consult a clock, she said, “I thought so!”, showing her disbelief. But then, sister number 2 is also a card. Trying to take her grocery shopping when she was little was always adventurous, said lovingly in retrospect. I won’t even go into all the stories which curiously revolved around grocery shopping (apparently she thought that was her audience, I can only wonder), but will say that one of the milder moments was her shouting in perfect mimicry, lisp and all, quoting The Princess Bride: “NEVER TRUST A SICILIAN WHEN DEATH IS ON THE LINE!!! AHAHAHA-AHAHAHA-AHAAAAaa…” More of those vignettes another time – I am drafting children’s books, as we speak.
Our boys are just as dear as their sisters. Our older son, when little, would always “rescue” his sisters from their Dad when they would all be playing “Alligator”, in which he would mostly make loud roaring sounds and make fearsome alligator faces at them, and tickle them. The girls would laugh and scream, and call for their baby brother to rescue them! And he was only about two and a half, but he would call, “I’m coming! I’ll help you!!”, and quickly grabbed the plush hobby horse (that whinnied and played folk and western tunes when you pressed his right ear), and ran to where they all were, and was whacking his Dad’s back and anywhere he could hit (it was a bit to wield that horse, for a 2.5 year old) – which made his Dad and all of us laugh uncontrollably, as none of us were expecting that reaction. He just took his sisters at their word that they needed rescuing, and that was how he had translated that moment at the time. His younger brother, diagnosed with ASD at about 4.5, put his arms out to give me a hug as he approached me while I was sitting cross-legged on the floor. He is very affectionate, so this did not surprise me. What did surprise me was that as he put his arms around me to hug me, I heard the whoosh and snip of the scissor blades to the left side of my head as all my senses became immediately alert. I pulled back, and he smilingly said, “haircut?”, to which I said that perhaps another time I would agree, but not at this time, and then followed through with all the usual redirecting his attention to better and safer pursuits while deftly retrieving the scissors and putting them away. He gave me a kiss and a hug and carried on with his next interests of the moment. I love our kids.
It has been said that the years teach us much which the days never know.
This Canada Day, I just want to say that I am grateful for my husband and our children, our families and friends.
I also want to say that my Aunt is in hospital, and that her family is surrounding her and supporting her along with my Mom, Sister, and other Aunt who were able to drive there to be there for her and for her husband and family. I have not heard further, but I know it is serious, and that she has been suffering debilitating pain. I send my love, our love, to her and to everyone there.